Is putting ourselves first Selfish?
I would say no to that, for sure….
When we put ourselves first it gives us the opportunity to give others the attention they deserve as well.
At times we feel so depleted that our well actually feels so freakin’ empty.
Have you ever heard of a people pleaser?
I am sure have, that was one of my many gifts of personal sabotage that I thought was a gift of power.
I thought if I always said YES, I would get some kind of reward…maybe in the form of recognition. As we try to please others we are actually displeasing ourselves with a whole lot of bullshit.
Here is the question I ask myself when I am in a situation with a pull towards people pleasing:
Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
You know when someone asks you to do something that you really don’t want to do, and you say, “yes” (I know you know what I am talking about)….that is the moment you are giving your power away!
Some of you might say it is the right thing to do….but is it the right thing to do for yourself?
“Standing in our power requires us to let go of the need to make others like us and instead stand committed to honoring ourselves, even if our choices go against popular opinion”…Debbie Ford
Remember, saying NO to someone else means saying YES to yourself!
I would like to share this short exercise from, The Way of a Happy Woman by Sara Avant Stover.
This exercise is my go to in making sure I am standing in my power without spreading myself too thin.
In a journal or a piece of paper, on the far-left side of the page, make a list of all the roles you play (mom, father, boss, girlfriend, cook, friend, son, daughter). Be sure to leave a few lines after each role.
Next to each one, list all the responsibilities you have in that role. When you’ve finished, number the roles from most important to least important.
Using a highlighter or a colored pencil, circle the top 3 roles to remind you where your heart most wants to focus when you start getting pulled in too many directions.
I like to focus first on the relationship with myself. There is no such thing as selfish when you are caring for yourself……!
Here is an example of my top 3 roles that keep me grounded in my personal power:
- Lover: I love to give and receive love. I must remember this is on the top of my list. When I am not loving myself, I am unable to love others fully
- Homemaker: Taking care of myself, the foods I ingest & create, the dedication to my home, love for Drew, Elly, Jack and puppies is what envelops my life with the energy I want to create & manifest
- Simple Clean and Whole Inspirer: I feed off of healing myself and offering my teachings to others.
This is a reminder when things get hectic for me what fills my tank and keeps ME healthy…
Now I know this sounds so peachy…..the truth is that it is THAT simple. The more you focus & practice on what fills you the more you will start to notice your daily living will start to shift…it’s a practice of living your truth not someone elses….
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Let the TRUTH set you free!!!!