Rhythm and Flow

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” —Thomas Merton

I am tired of looking “outside the box” for answers, guidance, and ultimately happiness, when I can just access it from WITHIN. This year, I have been experiencing and learning this lesson the hard way. Many times when I feel that something is too hard, I search, struggle and push outside myself for someone else to help me.

When big obstacles have gotten in the way of my plans, my happiness, my life…I have found myself totally stuck.

And I react like this…


Someone HELP!!!

This just takes too much effort!!!

This makes me tired, frustrated, and fearful!!!

(Yes, that may exclamation points needed!!!)

Let me clarify: Asking for help is not a bad thing in and of itself. It actually takes a ton of courage and is something that we all need to do often in order to learn and grow. But, what I am talking about here is the kind of help that we reach for out of fear.

When we are moving through an emotional journey – filled with pesky obstacles – it’s easy to want other’s help – pronto! To want someone else to tell you it’s OK to quit. Or to say that they can carry a load for you. Or to give you the “perfect” solution.

But, here is what I have learned over and over again: Instead of crying out for help out of fear, I need to sit with the obstacle. Look it in the eye. Feel OK with its discomfort for a little while. Become aware of my feelings about it – and why I have them. Then, turn inward to make my own plan of action. And trust my own intuition – my own truth – to decide what to do.

This, my friends, is called alignment.

More on that in a minute.

But first, you’ll notice I have been writing a lot about fear recently. Of how most of us get stuck because of it, because of the risk of failure. Other times we are stuck because we don’t even know what we want in the first place. In my last post, I shared what I was committed to doing despite my fears. And I am taking action on them. (Have you written your commitments yet?) However, that doesn’t mean my journey will be easy, and certainly doesn’t mean it will be obstacle free!

(Yours either. Sorry. :( )

That’s why I want to encourage you today. To let you know that I, too, get STUCK! And not only do I get stuck… but sometimes I feel like a total stick in the mud. I have learned from many teachers that this is the journey of a teacher… to experience what their students are going through as well. We are in this together!

Finding yourself in that sticky mud can be really scary. Like, “How the hell did I find my way back here? I thought I got over this already!,” kind of scary. Yikes!

Life will continue to offer us that muddy mess until we become aware of what the old habit is that keeps coming back.

AWARENESS is good. No, I mean great!

The issue is if we just stay still in the awareness and continue to complain about the same issues over and over again.

It is ACTION (the practice of the AWARENESS) that will begin to put you in ALIGNMENT.

(Told you I would come back to ALIGNMENT!)

So it looks like this…


You can think of it this way: It’s feeling Rhythm and Flow that results from being in Alignment. We all know when we are out of flow. And we also all know what it is like to feel in flow.

Can you venture up one moment that you felt in Rhythm and Flow? Go ahead bring it to the forefront of your mind…

Ok… you got it? Good!

When you were in the state of Rhythm and Flow you had awareness, and were taking action. Once you took the action… you became aligned.

Once you were aligned… you got it… you felt the Rhythm and Flow!

An example with Nutrition:

Awareness: Become aware of the food that nourishes you and the food that doesn’t.

Action: Practice ingesting Simple Clean and Whole Foods.

Alignment: Set your intention to continue to follow through on your Action step.

Rhythm and Flow: Your body starts to metabolize and do its job of keeping you healthy. (And you feel amazing!)

I, too, must always come back to these 4 Pillars of Emotional Practice… it works in every area of life! Now, I invite you to take a stand. (Even if you’re in the mud!) Let me know what it feels like to be out of Rhythm and Flow or in Rhythm and Flow.

Or give me your own example of how you got to feel rhythm and flow using Awareness, Action, and Alignment.

I would love to hear from you!

If you don’t want to post on the comment section, email me personally at


Here’s to getting out of the mud, looking inward instead of crying for help, and feeling the rhythm and flow,


Turn Stagnant Awareness Into Fearless Action

What is it like…

To continually make promises and commitments to yourself?

Such as committing to waking up in the morning feeling better or different?

And then what is it like…

To make a promise like this and then keep putting it off to the next day, week, or even month? (We are all guilty!)

Finally, what is it like…

To expect from others when we cannot even follow through ourselves?

Now that’s a big question!

We tend to want others to make different choices and lifestyle shifts… without owning our own “stuff” and making our own changes.

It’s truly easy to point out other’s downfalls.

If we take the time it also may be easy to recognize our own issues and desire to change.

But where most of us get stuck is we just sit in the awareness of our dissatisfaction. It’s HARD to stop focusing on others, to stop sitting complacent, and to finally take action!

Why the heck do we keep doing this?

It’s called FEAR!

That’s right. Good ’ole fear keeps coming around knocking on the door.

What’s the fear?

Well, if we actually step into ACTION and don’t seem to get the results we are looking for, we are programmed to call that failure!

And can you guess what I think about that? I call that FALSE!

Failure is just a story that we have made up, something that was given and expected of us as we grow in life. Something negative and bad to avoid at all costs. And since we don’t want to fail, we choose to not take action.

But… on the contrary, a wise man once told me, “Jen, we only learn from our losses, not our gains!”

These words have been guiding me in so many ways lately.

What if we lived like we truly believed that?

It is our right of passage to lose… to (gasp!) fail! Because the gift is in the loss.

How would we ever learn anything if we were always gaining? How could we ever fully appreciate the wins, the good times, the “nailed it!” feeling, if we didn’t have the failures to compare them to?

So, in the spirit of fearless action, I am not going to keep you siting in the awareness of your own stuff. I am going to ask you to take one small baby action step today towards your goal.

And now that you know failure isn’t such a bad thing after all, I dare you to start today.

Here’s some options for you…

  • Ingest whole, nourishing foods
  • Cut down on preservatives
  • Be kinder to yourself & others
  • Take a few extra minutes a day to simply breathe
  • Shut down facebook or instagram
  • Read a book just for fun
  • Wear pretty undergarments… for you!
  • Lather yourself in new cologne or perfume
  • Pick yourself up a small gift with meaning
  • Go to the gym
  • Smile at yourself in the mirror
  • Clean your closet
  • Pay your bills
  • Call an old friend
  • Take a bath
  • Kiss your loved ones
  • Set your alarm to finally wake up earlier tomorrow!

Remember… small action steps lead to big Shifts!

To being fearless,