How to Move Past Your Fear of Being Vulnerable

Do you have a fear of being less than? Do you operate with an all or nothing mentality? The common denominator for most people in these situations is a fear of being vulnerable.

In other words, you’re afraid to make mistakes or show anyone (including yourself) that you’re less than perfect. You’re stuck on one side of the bridge between feeling limited or limitless.

Hanging out on the Limited to Limitless Bridge

The way you do one thing in life is usually how you do most things in your life. If you’re an all or nothing person, you’re either limited or limitless. Fear of being less than prevents us from crossing the bridge from limited to limitless.

For those of us with all or nothing mentalities who live on the limited mindset side of the bridge, once we cross to the limitless side, fear often pulls us back to the limited side once again.

What if we took some time to hang out on that bridge rather than jumping all the way from the extremes of living the limited mindset vs. limitless mindset?

What would it feel like to be uncomfortable on that bridge, somewhere in the middle, where there is no definite?

What would it feel like to be vulnerable?

We all need to become comfortable with vulnerability before we can take a step to move forward.

Pulling up the Shade and Taking off the Vulnerability Mask

When we have a fear of being vulnerable, we often hide behind masks so others can’t see our imperfections.

You can’t make positive transformations until you recognize and remove your mask. However, taking off your mask is something that has to be done slowly. You have to take it off little by little or you’ll end up pulling it right back on again as soon as you feel too uncomfortable.

The key is to hang out in the middle of your limited to limitless bridge where you’ll feel uncomfortable but not so out of place that you need to go back to your mask and your old habits. I coach my clients to use certain exercises so they can embrace vulnerability at the middle of the bridge rather than fearing it.

Imagine you have a remote control for a shade on yourself. Every day, press the up button and lift that shade a little bit. Track the incidents when you feel vulnerable. When you feel weighted down by emotions, it’s ok, take a breath….slowly lift up the shade, eventually you will find your place or shall I say balance. Most important is to recognize that this is a practice, just like eating well.  You will begin to feel more truthful. It’s a tough job to wear a mask everyday.  Imagine what it would be like to walk your talk….your real talk?  The negative physical effects that you were experiencing from your fear of being vulnerable will begin to improve.

Making a SHIFT

We all struggle with a fear of being vulnerable, but if that fear is doing harm to you emotionally or physically, then you need to make a shift so you can find you. Don’t let distractions get in the way and don’t allow your all or nothing way of thinking to become a label that defines you to yourself or to others.

You can make the SHIFT that you need to so you can get unstuck on the limited to limitless bridge and begin to move forward and embrace the balanced and happy life that you deserve!

Are you ready to make a SHIFT? SHIFT 21 is a 3-week transformational food and lifestyle program that will help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Follow the link to learn more!

Let Vulnerability Lead You

I had an incredible experience this weekend without even planning it. Isn’t it so funny how the universe gives you exactly what you need when you least expect it?

In the next few weeks I will be moving from my home in Summit, New Jersey and settling into our new lifestyle living between New York and Colorado. (Most of my clients work with me through Skype, FaceTime or online group programs, so no matter where I am I can take you with me! I will certainly miss my locals, though!)

Talk about change, transition, and shifting. I got it all.

Experts say that whatever you preach/teach is what you will experience. Not only do you teach on these experiences, they will fall on your lap even if you don’t want them or haven’t planned them. For me, I have been teaching so much on life shifts & vulnerability – about bravely stepping into the unknown, embracing uncertainty, and seeing life as being an open-ended journey. Like the abyss… scary stuff! It truly takes vulnerability to access courage and compassion that comes with life shifts.

So, this weekend I walked into the unknown: a new home, a new space, a new town.

What I realized then that I had not foreseen was that I was beginning to go deeper and deeper into my teachings – in my own life.

It was time for me to do my own inner work of being vulnerable in a situation that jolts my belly and sends my intuition into doubt & fear (with my monkey mind on red alert.) Yes, I still have those moments! These are the moments that could either turn into a catastrophic hurricane (tossing you around and beating you down,) or a chance to turn inwards and grow.

While the old patterns and habits are knocking at my door, I have a choice. (Yup, we all have choices!) I can spin out of control and feed the hurricane with manmade wind – OR I can root down into my authentic belief system. Now, remember, the Simple Clean and Whole belief system was not always my system. My system used to be defined by anxiety.

The practice of living Simple Clean and Whole is not just about nutrition. It is a lifestyle practice. Part of the practice is always looking within, being gracious and loving and curious with myself.

I ask these 5 questions to bring me back to balance & moderation:

  1. What foods nourish me, even though I only want to ingest comfort food? (For me that would be sugar!)
  2. What kind of movement do I need to clear my head, when all I want to do is hibernate?
  3. What kind of people do I want to surround myself with, when all I want to do is hijack others to complain with me?
  4. What tools have I cultivated that help to ground me, when all I want to do is revert to my old negative ways?
  5. What truly makes me feel good? (Not just temporarily.)

For the next several blog posts I will be featuring women and men who also keep intentionally bringing themselves back to the Simple Clean and Whole lifestyle when all of life’s obstacles (like unknowns, new changes, and hurricanes!) keep getting thrown their way!

These individuals have touched my life in many ways and I can’t wait to share their stories with you. We are all in this together, and no one is exempt from finding their own way!

This summer, I will be digging deep into my new digs… making my house a home! I will also be working on the extended all-new online SHIFT program, AND…

Stay tuned for Simple Clean and Whole’s 7 day Farmers Market Cleanse in mid-July!!

Until then, let your vulnerability lead you to practice courage and compassion.

Stay tuned for my first guest next week, Meghan French. She is the unbelievable brand and web designer who I have been honored to share my vision with.

Cheers to being vulnerable!

xojennew